Hey Megan, it's Emma! For information on individuation, try the July archives on the right hand side xx
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Funnily enough, something that has helped me with my anxiety is the ability to distract myself. I've talked to lots of people with different opinions about this technique, but I remain convinced that positive distractions can help keep anxiety under control. The first exercise I want to talk about is something I discovered whilst learning about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with a psychologist. I call it "Focus," but I've heard of other names like "Microscope" before as well. To do this activity, select an object from somewhere in the room. It can be something as mundane as a plastic cup, or something beautiful, or something bizarre. Examine the object closely. Try to notice everything about it: use as many of your senses as possible. How is it shaped? What does it smell like? What is its texture? Maybe the light reflects off it in a certain way. What colour is it? The idea is to bring your focus to the object, and away from your anxiety. As you begin to concentrate on the object, to "zoom in," it becomes harder to see the things you are anxious about. This next exercise is very similar to the first, because again it involves changing your focus and allowing your mind to wrap itself around a small part of its surroundings, rather than being overwhelmed by the big picture. The technique is called "Snapshot," and I learned it from my wonderful physics teacher, Ms K. To do this exercise, take a look out the nearest window (I find it works better if you can find a window overlooking a garden or park). Pretend you are looking through the lens of a camera, and choose something to take a "picture" of. Don't pay attention to anything outside the frame: simply allow yourself to enjoy the picture, to be in the moment. My favourite thing to focus on during Snapshot is a tree branch waving in the wind. If you're the kind of person who likes to do a lot of thinking and thrives on working things out, you might also like to try doing crosswords or simple math problems. Apart from developing your vocabulary and arithmetic, it can be a good distraction from whatever your mind is stuck on at the time. I often take a book of crosswords to school and do a few clues when I'm feeling really awful- I find it quite grounding and great for my focus (I think I must have the concentration span of a ten year old!). I also find lists to be very stress-relieving. Knowing that I've accounted for everything and written it down in a list helps me get rid of the feeling that I've forgotten something important (this often accompanies my anxiety). Lists can also help quantify your fears or the things you worry about. I often write down my problems as a list and typically find them easier to consider and solve when I can look at them all together, in a logical order. A common method of coping with anxiety/stress is to use a stress ball. The act of repeatedly squeezing the ball relieves tension and stress, and also increase blood circulation. They're often used in meditation or for alleviating arthritis and can be very beneficial. It can take a while to find one that you like: I prefer more malleable materials that I can pulverise without breaking! Up until I became ill with depression and anxiety, I hadn't really paid much attention to people when they told me about aromatherapy: now it's an entirely different story. Certain scents can elicit different feelings in us, and some can be really effective in helping tame anxiety. My personal favourite is lavender oil, as it seems to be the most effective at calming my mind and distracting me from my worries. I sleep with it on my pillow and often use it as perfume, which is particularly handy if I have high anxiety when I'm out or at school. It lets me focus on the scent instead of trying to sort through the jumble of thoughts in my mind. If you don't want to carry a stress ball around, or just have an fondness for pretty rocks (like me) you could try carrying around one of these beauties in your pocket. Apart from being gorgeous to look at, you can find ones with different textures and shapes. Fiddling around with a pretty stone can somehow occupy me for minutes at a time, and I find it particularly helpful if I'm stuck waiting somewhere or finding it hard to concentrate in class. My favourite one at the moment is a polished chip of gold sandstone, because it's smooth with a couple of points and glitters orange-gold. It's a great distraction, and easy to do without attracting too much attention.
Hopefully these little tricks can help you relax a bit more, especially for those who have exams coming up! They are some of the most common exercises I use to alleviate my own anxiety, and can be used in all sorts of situations. Love always, Em xx For me, breathing exercises have been one of the most crucial parts of dealing with anxiety. In stressful situations or even during panic attacks, remembering to breathe and being mindful of our breathing can help us feel in-control and calm us down.
During anxious periods, breathe consciously. Don't try and force the breath; forced breathing can actually be detrimental, a lesson I have learned from my wonderful auntie (who is a yoga instructor). Simply focus on your breathing and the movement of your diaphragm. Allow the breath to gradually deepen and lengthen. Below are some simple breathing exercises I find helpful: 1) Counting your breaths. Use a watch or clock to time, and count your breaths for one minute. Don't try to alter your breathing. Again, it's important here to note that forcing yourself to breathe slowly can be an unhelpful practice. I find it satisfying to repeat this process a couple of minutes later (after doing some more breathing exercises) and observe the difference. For reference: During a workshop, I was asked to do this exercise. I had medium-to-high levels of anxiety and counted 23 breaths per minute. At a later point in the workshop (after practising conscious breathing), I had low-to-medium levels of anxiety. I repeated the exercise and counted 10 breaths per minute. 2) This exercise involves creating an awareness of where the breath comes from. As you breath, place your hands over your collar bones. Feel the movement of your shoulders, up and down. The idea is to focus on the sensation of breathing. The next stages are hands-on-chest, hands-on-ribs, and eventually hands-on-belly. It takes a bit of practice (and here I have to say that I have limited knowledge about the mechanics of mindful breathing!) but has proven to be very effective for me. 3) I also like this exercise, called "Alternate Nostril Breathing." Hold your right thumb over your right nostril, and inhale deeply through the left nostril. At the peak of the inhalation, close off the left nostril with your ring finger, and exhale through your right nostril. This exercise is great for relieving stress and can also be quite energising- I find it helpful in the mornings, as I tend to be groggy and stressed in the hours after I wake up. Love always, Em xx Ok, I know what you're thinking. How embarrassingly corny can you get, Em? The day I first started to take this on board, I was sitting there in a therapy workshop thinking the same thing. Do I really have to do this? It sounds stupid. Isn't that for little kids? Well, I can tell you first-hand that positive self-talk WORKS. I'll let you in on a secret: I think that most people already self-talk subconsciously. But the thing is, the way we talk to ourselves (inside our own heads) is heavily influenced by our surroundings and the way others speak about themselves, other people, or about us. I realised (taking you back to the therapy workshop) that I myself already self-talked... And a lot of it was negative. We are taught both explicitly and implicitly by the media, by society, by each other to be judgemental and critical of ourselves. Rather than some corny activity you hear about, I prefer to think of self-talk as a battle against negative thoughts. Self-talk can be incredibly beneficial in dealing with anxiety, and I've used it regularly and consistently to cope with stress, anxiety, panic attacks and a myriad of other emotions and mental goings-on! So, without further ado, I give you my personal list of most-effective self talk statements (for anxiety). 1) Anxiety is not dangerous. I am safe, and it will pass. 2) I am in control. 3) I have overcome my anxiety many times before: I can do it again. 4) I am strong. I am able. I am winning. I am building my strength. 5) I'm going to manipulate and use my anxiety to my advantage. It's a tool that I can control (for more information, see previous anxiety posts). 6) I am going to think slowly about what I need to do. 7) I can choose to think differently. 8) I know how to cope with this. I am well-prepared. 9) I am going to settle. I am going to breathe deeply, and my anxiety will pass. 10) I can be anxious and still focus on the task at hand. As I focus on the task, my anxiety will go down. I practise self-talk every single day. I can guarantee you that I use at least one of those phrases each school day, and that for me they are a crucial part of overcoming my anxiety. I should also note here that self-talk is not limited to anxiety: as part of my nightly ritual, I make sure to pay myself a compliment and practice accepting the compliment happily. I hope that my readers can get something out of this post, as I believe self-talk really is worthwhile.
Love always, Em xx It's the first part of a post I've been meaning to write for what seems like CENTURIES- I'm sorry this took so long! I've finally gotten on to it, and hopefully it will be helpful to any of you who are doing exams, have a lot on or are just suffering from a lot of anxiety! So before we begin to deal with anxiety, it's helpful to understand factors that influence anxiety, and the cycle of anxiety (situation, thoughts, feelings, symptoms, behaviour and outcome). There are several factors that increase a person's problematic anxiety. These include: 1) Life stressors (major, minor, acute, prolonged, past, present). Examples might include stressors such as the death of a loved one, moving house, a serious injury, organising an event, taking exams or friendship difficulties. 2) Biology/genetics. If a person has a family history of mental illness, they will often be prone to mental illness themselves. 3) Lifestyle. Certain lifestyles can be very stressful for an individual- some common examples might include a school lifestyle/adolescent lifestyle, a lifestyle involving lots of travel or a high-stress career lifestyle. 4) Communication skills. Social anxiety (one of the most common forms) often links closely with a lack of confidence in communication. Feeling unable to communicate in social situations can be a huge anxiety-provoking stressor. 5) Self esteem. This is a major issue in modern day society, particularly in adolescents and girls, but also in many other groups. Self esteem is a person's overall emotional evaluation of their own worth. A person with low self-esteem may have social confidence issues, worry about their image or feel inadequate in certain situations, causing anxiety. 6) Thoughts. Those negative thoughts sometimes just creep in... It can be hard to identify them in the first place, let alone stop them. Negative thoughts, especially recurring ones (rumination) can be a great cause of anxiety, and link with self-esteem, self-efficacy, life stressors, etc. 7) Behaviour. Sometimes our behaviour can cause us anxiety- examples might include embarrassing behaviour, reactions we regret or disliking the way we act towards others (bossy? push-over? over-helpful? mean?). 8) Hyperventilation. This can play a huge part in increasing your anxiety! It often occurs during panic attacks- it is both a symptom and a cause of anxiety. A feeling of suffocation often comes with hyperventilation. Ok, so now that we've looked at some influencing factors, we can have a go at understanding the vicious cycle of anxiety. As I mentioned before, the stages of anxiety include situation, thoughts, feelings, symptoms, behaviour and outcome. Below are some guiding questions that can help us learn about how anxiety operates.
Situation: Think of a situation that triggers your anxiety. When did you last feel anxious? What was happening? Where were you? Thoughts: What went through your mind in this situation? What were you afraid might happen? What was the worst thing that could have happened? What did you think of yourself during the situation? What did you think of others? Emotions: How did you feel during the situation? Some examples might include feeling afraid, disconnected, weak, vulnerable, annoyed, angry, embarrassed, tense, sad, jealous, or ashamed. Symptoms: What physical symptoms did you experience? Examples might include tension, sweating, hyperventilation, arrhythmia (irregular heart beat) or shaking. For more information on physical symptoms, see my previous post, "What The Heck Is Anxiety?!" Outcome: What did you do? Are there things you did to try and manage your anxiety? And so, this brings me to the end of the post! We've looked at understanding anxiety, things that can affect it and the cycle or process that we go through in anxious situations... Which means that in the next post(s) we can get on to dealing with anxiety! I'm working on it already, so it should be ready very soon (hopefully in time for exams, year 12s!). Love always, Em xx Here's the next challenge: the calm checklist. I chose to do a bunch of little challenges today, because it's exam time (or nearly) for a lot of people I know, and all these little things help!
1) Give a 20-second bear hug 2) Stroke a cat, dog, animal, cuddly toy, etc. (releases endorphins) 3) Hum or sing an entire song (out loud) 4) Write down 3 things you're grateful for 5) At some point in the day, get up and walk around the block once Calm checklist criteria: - You must try to do everything on the list - Set yourself a time limit for completing the list (mine was 6 hours, fitting around study) These challenges are optional (of course) and designed to be mentally beneficial, not to stress you out! Love always, Em xox I'm on my third half-hour study break (hopefully I can finally finish this post!), because quite frankly if I have to read another Austen quote right now I think I'll go completely nuts. SO, let's get down to business! This is part 2 of my little anxiety-themed section: Different types of problematic anxiety. Yes, it manifests in more than one form! Source: Marian Centre ECS1 document.
2) Agoraphobia. As I understand it, this is quite common amongst people who have anxiety issues. I've certainly experienced it a lot! Agoraphobia is characterised by a fear of having a panic attack in a place from which escape is difficult. It can impossible for sufferers to travel beyond what they consider their safety zones. 3) Specific Phobia. This is characterised by the excessive fear of an object or situation, exposure to which causes an anxious response (e.g. a panic attack). The feared object or situation is usually avoided or anticipated with dread. SP is generally diagnosed when the fear interferes with daily routine, employment or social life.
7) Obsessive-Compulsive Anxiety (OCD). Lots of people know about this one! It's characterised by uncontrollable obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are recurring thoughts or impulses (e.g. obsessions with contamination, orderliness) that are intrusive or inappropriate and cause the sufferer anxiety. Compulsions are repetitive behaviours or rituals (e.g. cleaning, double-checking, hoarding) that neutralise the anxiety caused by obsessive thoughts (relief is only temporary). Again, OCD is only diagnosed if it affects the sufferer's routine, work, social life or relationships. So, hopefully you now know a whole lot more about different types of anxiety! It was a bit of an eye-opener for me (before my own anxiety, I'd heard about lots of the symptoms and characteristics of several types, but it was all blurred together!) and I hope it can give you a better idea and understanding of the topic.
Love always, Em xox Over the last few weeks, I've had the realisation that depression can often come from being bored, or feeling as if there's no substance to life. And I realised that, apart from the obvious solution (going out and having fun) I have always used my imagination as a way of coping with this. Sometimes on the darkest of days, all you need to do is think of a story, and you have the strength to get to bedtime. Long story short, if your life feels dull, start using your imagination. 1) When I go food shopping, I’m packing to go on the run. 2) When I’m running in the park, I’m a medieval princess training in secret to become the head of the rebellion. 3) When I go to school, I’m an undercover agent trying to find a dangerous traitor. 4) If I’m bored in class, my imaginary friend Spindler entertains me by pulling the teachers’ hair, doing stupid card tricks, cartwheeling in the hallways outside and drawing stick figures on the whiteboard. 5) When I’m practising speaking in French, I’m actually practising reciting my Alibi for when I’m undercover in Paris. 6) When I dance, I’m on a magical stage and everyone in the audience can feel my euphoria. 7) When I swim, I’m a stowaway watching pirates disembark on a treasure island, ready to warn the locals and lead an ambush. 8) When I’m studying physics, I become an astronaut engaged in complicated calculations that will help me save the spaceship and its passengers. 9) Whenever I walk through a dark tunnel or passageway, I’m hunting demons for the good of mankind. 10) Sitting on the bus, I’m in a time bubble waiting to burst through the doors, evade my captors and sprint to my freedom. 11) When I'm walking my dog in the park, I am in fact training my invisible pet dragon. If you're having a bad day, just pretend you're playing a game. Pretend you're in a parallel universe, or that you have an invisible twin who sometimes becomes visible and causes trouble, or that you're trying to raise a unicorn and dire-wolf in the same house. Use your imagination to keep yourself smiling. It can be any crazy thing in the world. Be creative to save yourself.
Check out this Ted talk. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfBpsV1Hwqs Love always, Em xox We've all felt anxiety before- I'm sure you'd have to be made out of bricks to not have been anxious- but do we really know that much about it? Well, to be honest I didn't know very much at all before I went to hospital. Again, I believe that this topic is something that should be addressed from a very early age. Children (and everyone) should be taught all about anxiety including a) its benefits and b) how to manage it. So first of all, it's important to recognise that anxiety can have massive benefits. It can actually be used as a tool to improve our performance! Although that may seem like an obvious sort of statement, I had actually never really thought much about it. I'd always seen my anxiety as something negative that was interfering with my life and pushing me down. Anxiety helps the body prepare for action. Symptoms include: 1) Vision becomes focused (pupils dilate) 2) Mind becomes more alert 3) Mouth goes dry as resources are diverted from digestion to heart, brain and muscles 4) Breathing rate increases as more oxygen is needed for physical action 5) Heart contracts at a faster rate to pump blood around the body 6) Sweating to cool us down after physical exertion (some people even say it's also to make us slippery and harder to catch!) 7) Resources are diverted from the gut so may experience unease in stomach (nausea) 8) Muscles become tense to prepare for action 9) Hands and feet may tingle Having severe anxiety sucks. I can tell you that from experience! However, some degree of anxiety can actually work wonders for our performance. If we don't have any anxiety, we're likely to be bored and unmotivated, but if we have extreme anxiety we won't perform well either. We perform best at a moderate level of anxiety. How anxiety works: A visual guide :) Things that trigger anxiety include:
1) REAL THREAT- fact 2) PERCEIVED THREAT- emotional response We become anxious when we perceive threat. Anxiety is generated by how we perceive and think about situations. Some examples include change, negative thoughts, social tension, death, injury, rejection, judgement and loss. The point of this post is to encourage people to recognise that anxiety is a NORMAL, NATURAL and NECESSARY human response. It is not dangerous (in fact, it helps us), and the more we understand about it, the easier it becomes to successfully manage our anxiety. Coming up I plan to make posts about a) different types of anxiety, and b) methods of managing anxiety. It's all really important information, so please share it with anybody you know- in a society with growing social, physical and mental stress levels we should all have the opportunity to learn about anxiety so we can cope in life. Love always, Em xx GEEEEEET EXCITED! It's the Deca-Challenge- we've already reached number 10, OMG! You guys are either going to love me or hate me for this one ;)
First things first, I apologise for the lack of posts. I've got a lot going on at the moment (exams coming up woo-hoo, not). However, today's challenge should be interesting (this one's for you, NM. Ahl eez vell). So you may have guessed by now that I am rather besotted with the bizarre (and arguably the insane). So to celebrate my 10th Challenge post (why not?) I've decided to give you something crazy. Your challenge is this: Making sure there are people in the house (slash wherever you do the challenge) to witness it, you must go around and turn on as many lights as you can in 1 minute. With your chin. It might be nice to film this one :D Chin-light-switching Criteria: - You must use your chin - Try not to break anything (including your face) - You can turn them on or off - You can do the same switch twice, but ONLY after you've run out of switches to do - Has to be at least one person in the house to help celebrate the bizarreness (or just stand around looking extremely confused) - You only have one minute I got 20, a lot of giggles and some very puzzled comments. Beat that! Good luck and POST YOUR SCORE IN THE COMMENTS!!! Love always, Em xx |