Mental illnesses don't necessarily come straight away. In my case, it took months to develop into something serious, and in the beginning I wouldn't admit (even to myself) that anything was wrong. That was my first mistake.
Today's post is pretty serious- it's about how to help yourself (with reference to my own case). It's about taking steps to ensure your own survival. It's about finding your own reason to survive in the first place.
Today's post is pretty serious- it's about how to help yourself (with reference to my own case). It's about taking steps to ensure your own survival. It's about finding your own reason to survive in the first place.
It had been a long-coming realisation: in November last year (2013) I finally accepted that something was wrong with the way I'd started thinking. There had been a lot going on in my life, and I wasn't dealing very well with it. I'd begun to feel as if I were drowning. But I thought to myself, "Well, I can cope with it. There will be better times ahead, I'm just going through a rough patch. I'm smart enough to get through this alone." So I just continued along the same path I'd always taken: the deal-with-it-myself path.
Then, it got worse. In March this year (without giving details) things were pretty bad. I was still hiding my problem from my parents- and still had myself convinced that it was just a "normal teenage drama-queen thing." It took me until late March to realise that, by keeping it to myself, I was not being responsible for my own happiness.
One day, I was still awake by two in the morning. I was not in a good state. And I took a step back from my self-pity and realised that I needed to get help from somebody. The idea of telling anybody about it was INCREDIBLY scary, because the negative thoughts I was having disgusted me. But I realised that, apart from trying to escape the problem, the only way to deal with it would be to get some help. Now, as I say, it was two in the morning. And I knew by that point that when I woke up in a few hours, I wouldn't want to do anything. I'd convince myself that I could deal with it myself, and just keep going the way I had been.
So, I figured out a way to make SURE that I would get help. I wrote down a list of promises/vows. Some of them I won't share with you, but the one most important to this post is:
"Tomorrow morning I will make a to-the-point list of my problems, go to the school psychologist and hand it to her."
So, I figured out a way to make SURE that I would get help. I wrote down a list of promises/vows. Some of them I won't share with you, but the one most important to this post is:
"Tomorrow morning I will make a to-the-point list of my problems, go to the school psychologist and hand it to her."
So that's what I did- I went to the psych and handed her my list. This was the first time I'd properly asked for help, and thank God I did. I doubt I would be here if I hadn't, because by April (even with help) I had degenerated into Zombie Mode.
I was lucky, because I knew where I could go for help with my problems. But I didn't have that much information about mental illness in the first place, and I'm convinced this is one of the reasons it took me so long to get help. So I made a list to post here.
1) Depression and anxiety (or any mental illness) can take more than one form. Just because you don't display the most common symptoms doesn't mean you don't have it. It's better to be safe than sorry: you may simply have a mild mental illness. Same as any other medical problem: SEE A DOCTOR!
2) How do you tell your parents? Well, this was a hard one for me to explain, because I didn't tell mine (the school psychologist did). So that made things easy for me. I would recommend writing them a letter or list (like I did).
3) Don't delay. There are ways of dealing with it. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET HELP. Don't let anybody tell you there's not a problem. If you are having these thoughts, the problem is REAL for you.
Hope this gets you thinking about it! Thanks for reading <3
Love always,
Em xx
1) Depression and anxiety (or any mental illness) can take more than one form. Just because you don't display the most common symptoms doesn't mean you don't have it. It's better to be safe than sorry: you may simply have a mild mental illness. Same as any other medical problem: SEE A DOCTOR!
2) How do you tell your parents? Well, this was a hard one for me to explain, because I didn't tell mine (the school psychologist did). So that made things easy for me. I would recommend writing them a letter or list (like I did).
3) Don't delay. There are ways of dealing with it. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET HELP. Don't let anybody tell you there's not a problem. If you are having these thoughts, the problem is REAL for you.
Hope this gets you thinking about it! Thanks for reading <3
Love always,
Em xx